CAN A LONER LEARN TO SHARE?

There comes a time when a man becomes what he wants to be. Through no fault of his or by sad experiences in his life, he either becomes a loner or a sharer. On some people it's easy to be a sharer. A simple smile, a simple greeting, a simple talk and a lot of sharing of thought and experiences can make one a sharer. And at the same making his life more fulfilling to him and others.

On the other hand, a man can become a loner by bad experiences and never let anybody come in his life. Never sharing, never loving and never knowing that he cannot go on alone in this world. Until he wakes up and change before it's too late, he will be a loner forever. For a while I was a loner myself. Blame it on growing pains, blame it on sensitiveness and romanticism. Until a very few people and experiences changed me to be a sharer and my life now is better.

This reminds me of the famous and very bright American chess player, Bobby Fisher who died this month. A man with an IQ of 180, he rose to the pinnacle of chess world by being the best Grandmaster in the world. But, all the popularity and wealth that he had, he didn't have anybody to share them and became deluded that the Russians were out to kill him. Until Iceland granted gave him a home and granted him citizenship, after being banned in the US for breaking a governemnt embargo policy against the Czech Republic. And he died a loner at the hospital. What a poor soul if you ask me. I guess chess was all he had and those pieces didn't have the ability to share back what triumph he made them do. So don't be checkmated. Live for others. Care for others and most importantly for yourself. Give somebody a hug!

LYNN-JON BLOG

I've just visited your co-blog blog. And Jon mentioned about sharing which reminded me of my and Nette's favorite song:

Night after night we spend together,
Growing every moments that spells forever.
Day after day our love goes stronger,
Sharing every minutes as we gets older.

If we ever say goodbye
and went our separates.
I wouldn't know how to get by
on my own.

I never say goodbye
No matter how they try...

Jon, I'm just glad you tought of this set-up for your new blog. Looking from the pictures of you and Lynn, I'm sure your relationship will last forever. I'm happy for Lynn and I'm happy for you, too. We will all get old and older, but, the knowledge that you have found somebody to spend those days will make your days NOW more meaningful and more bearable, to say the least. I love you both. Always take care of each other. Okay, let's drink (or eat) to that! Kampai!

DID YOU BRAKE?

Yesterday, as I was about to leave my work for home, when I turned on the ignition key, the BRAKE LAMP icon in the dashboard stayed on even when the engine started running already. I said to myself: How can I get home without stepping on the brake pedal? Which is nearly impossible. As there was still a little sunshine left till sunset and darkness, I said to myself I better head for home now and not drive too closely so I don't have to brake. And that's what I did. If there's cop who sees and tries to pull me over, I just take my chance and speed-up and start a wild chase ending with TV helicopter reporting all that was happening ending up at my front driveway. (The last sentence came to me in my imagination only! Akala ninyo totoo na.)

And so I proceeded with my trip home and made at least 5 instances when I have to step on the brake pedal. I said:"So far so good. No cops! I can do this!" Then as I merge in the 76 freeway a traffic back-up was ahead of me (a good 3 miles at that!!!)
I'll have to brake a lot, i thought. I also considered taking the surface road and and avoid traffic lights as much as possible and drive very, very slow. Which I realized was impossible, so, I stayed and kept looking in my rear view mirror every time I brake. After a while, the sun had set and that's when I realized there was a red light coming from my center lamp inside the back dashboard. And after stepping on my brake three more times, I saw a red glow on the front of the car that was following me. That means I had brake lights after all all along. What a relief!

When I go home I re-check my all my lights in front of my garage door. Have this happened to you? What do you? Do yo check your lights at daylight to get ready to drive at night? Me? I always check my lights regularly every time I was car. Only the last few months I wasn't able to do so. So I kind of panic when I saw the BRAKE LAMP on. So DO NOT PANIC. Maybe it was the continuous rain we've been having and got my trunk wet because of some leaks I have back there. But, DO PRAY FOR NO COP!

And that night, I saw a TV show where a cop stopped a car without headlights. As the driver was frantically and panically explaining to the cop that he forgot to turn on the separate switch for the headlight. And when the cop asked why the driver was freaking-out, he said he has a suspended license and he doesn't want to go to jail that night. The cop said he will not go to jail just to calm him down and proceeded cuffing and did the routine drunk and drug test. And finally at the end, the cop read the Miranda rights and arrested the driver cause there must be a serious reason why his license was suspended. All these because of a damn lack of light or just plain being dumb. And if I cause an accident, the other driver will say:"You did not brake!" Be careful, be safe and be prepared.

THE SOLUTIONS

I have found that the process of letting go of regrets can be done in one step. Instead, it can take a lifetime-- I hope I'll be able to change them in mine. One solution is to write it down--and that's just what I did here. And the same time forget the bad decisions I've made. When I was a teen, I found it hard to decide whether to buy something I really like or not. I would wait a few days to pass and I'd go back to the store if it'still there, then I would says it's really for me and I would buy it. Even though the price have gone up. The way to do it is--decide and after you've made a decision, consider the finality of it so that you'll be more satisfied with the results. Can I finally decide to get a Benz?

Another way of letting go of regrets is to think of the ways in which it might turn out worse than better. And lastly, sometimes it's the things that you don't do that will linger. I've always wanted to be a better dancer--a ballroom dancer at that. So to let go of that regret is to finally take dancing course and see what happens. I might also conquer my inborn shyness and might put it to good use in the near future. Let's say at a wedding. Just kidding.

Now, I feel better knowing I've open up myself to you. Not all my regrets can be solved at one time so I've got to learn to follow up on the ways to undo them that I mentioned above.

WHAT IF?

Since turning 50ish after almost 3 years ago now, I could and would have experienced a new midlife crisis which I have always thought of what could have been or the feeling of regret of doing or not doing something about it. How have I done so far?
If I have chosen some decisions before when I was young, would my life be much better today? Would my life be richer or be more fulfiling? I don't know the answers, but, I can't help asking myself now in an age where I question where my life would be going from now on.

What if I handled my love life more seriously and not by just breaking off suddenly without no real reason or thinking an affair would last more than one summer without even working hard at it and feel sad to being dumped myself? Would I have done them differently? And if I do, so now, I wouldn't be so guilty. What if I have not lost my high school bestfriends thru death, one who have to move abroad and one out of my no effort to stay in contact with. These goes through my head once in a while.

Another if is: What if I stuck it out with my Engineering course in college, maybe I could have a better career and job advancement and fulfillness than I what I now am doing which is very far from what I was trained. Or from what my two brothers have accomplished successfully in chosen fields. I envy them that they find joy with their work.

My other regrets involve being estranged from my family and siblings. Especially since moving here almost 21 years ago. I feel this strongly when both Mommy and Daddy have serious medical problems one year apart and that I couldn't physically and financially help as much I would have wanted. I also missed sharing many lost moments with my cousins, nephews, nieces, aunties and uncles who had shown me before nothing but kindness and unconditional love and understanding. And I thnking would I be able to see them again? Have I made the right decision in coming here early?

Lastly, sometimes I question about my disappointed at myself. Would it turn out better if I have been more decisive? Would my life be more satisfying if I was more stable in choosing the right course? Would my son have turn out more disciplined if I was more often during his formative years instead of being far working in some disgusting places to earn that mighty dollar. Although I also think that I have not done so bad and with my dignity and others and my respect in me sill intact.

All the answers to these questions, some of them I know before and some answers I now only realized or learned, I will touch on in my next post. If you find these boring, my apologies. But, there are good benefits why I mentioned these thoughts in my blog. So you say: "What's next?" Find out next time. In the meantime, I'l see you Friday Chat Time. Hope you're there!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

It's already the tenth day of the year and 355 days to go till 2009. This Rat Year's started very fast. All I can remember's waiting for the countdown on the Eve, then the NY party went back to work the next three days, then it was a weekend again and by tomorrow it will be Friday again. All along I forgot to make any New Year's resolutions which I do every year, but, tend to break them a month after. So much for change even there are nothing bad to change in me. Yabang ano? I have been good
last year. Actually, there's one resolution I want to make and that is to remember to greet you guys on your special or not so special events. Know that I try and know too that you are always on my mind. Oh, and another resolution: to go to confession, even once a year, preferably during Lenten season. So that every Communion I take on Sundays will really be meaningful.

But, I don't have to wait for Lent, I will confess that I, Nette and Gino for that matter, didn't go and hear Mass on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day or New Year's, which is actually Mama Mary's birthday, too. And that never happened to me before. And I feel awful about it. The cold weather, the preparation for our party and the drive to Astrid's house were not the excuses. There was no excuse but plain laziness. I can't forgive myself for it, but, I guess the Monsignior (aka Daddy) will. Too late now and I always think about it. How could I? If only I could have been stronger in my religious practice. If only I could make up for them. All of these comes to regrets. And that will be the topic of my next post.

I don't want to spoil your New Year with my rantng. I only want to let it out my chest. I only want to be loved--drama ano? To be understood, so much as to understand others. On my 10 days of my life this year, I want to feel better at mysef. Because if I don't, I would be a fake--which I'm certainly not one. What you see in me is who I am. Not plastic. Maybe boring, but what you get from me is sincerity. It will still be a good year for all of us, especially Gwen and John and Kuya's family. Do you agree?

ANOTHER NEW YEAR'S EVE

As we have celebrated and waited for the New Year for years, here's what we have prepared: 15 round fruits (3 more, the luckier), bilo-bilo, ube and palitaw for media noche and seafood lomi and Smirnoff Ice for NY Eve dinner. The Eve is usually quieter and smaller affair for us (me, Nette and Gino), but, we always wait for the countdown at 12 midnight in New York telecast, we jump and steer and make noise (inside the house). Eat and go to sleep, only to wake up early to watch the next day's Rose Bowl Tournament of Roses Parade on L.A. Channel 13 as it's always has been eversince we've been here. This year, the People Republic of China is entering a float which had some activists complain because of the country's human right violations. That's the sour note.

But the better tune is when we drive to Astrid's house to celebrate NY Day with the Callanta, Aguiluz and Pimentel families. I know it's more happier there with all the fireworks and the multitude of authentic Filipino foods. I know I could be happier if I spend this day with you. But as it is said: "Happiness is where your heart is". And my heart is here and you there, always in my mind. Happy New Year, beloved. And we'll see you next year.

AT OUR SUNDAY'S BEST

The above shots were taken after we've just got home from attending Sunday Mass at the Mission in the morning. The other shots were taken later that evening. Can you guess which one are which? Is that right? Or otherwise, playing with the camera. Does these remind you of Monica and...?

COMING TO AMERICA

As it has been anticipated or hoped to be sold in the U.S>. for years, The Nissan GRS or Skyline in Japan is finally coming to America. And here's the preview. This really a wow car. I want this also, IIWARM (If I Were A Rich Man). Hehehe.

IF I WERE A RICH MAN

As the actor, Topol sings,"If I Were A Rich Man" in the movie, Fiddle On The Roof, these are the cars I would have. If I am a RICH man--a Mercedes Benz C300 or a BMW 328, a VERY RICH man-- a Alfa Romeo Spyder or a Lamborgini and if I am a FILHTY RICH man, a convertible Rolls Royce. And if I could dream, I would want to buy the 1.5 million Maybach with partial rear seat soft top. Or is it in my dreams or the Mega Millions Lotto, which I play regularly.

AND THERE'S CAN CAN

And who would believe we would see Lynn's car here, exactly in the same rust color?
It's a KIA Spectra here, a 5-door hatchback. Gino was telling he remembers Lynn's car as a much smaller one.

THE HYBRIDS, ELECTRIC CARS, ETC.

The Nissan Altima, a Honda Civic and Toyota Camry hybrids and a Honda electric car.

IT'S A HONDA

In 2008, Honda is coming up with the all-new Honda Accord which is longer, wider and taller. The Accord Coupe has an new style, not just a 2-door sedan. The sedan, some say looks like a Hyundai Sonata in the front and a Toyota Camry in the back. The Accord sets the benchmark every year it comes out, it always make into the Ten Best Cars sixteen years in a row.

I have always been a Honda guy because their cars are well-designed in and out by real engineers, not only car designers. As Honda salesmen here say to customers:"It's a Honda." As they also say about Sony years back.

A red Infiniti, an upscale car brand of Nissan, G38. I especially like the GPS and the instument panel. They are easy to use.

Ford F150 Monster truck. Gino would need a long ladder to get into this thing. Some of these are street-legal. Otherwise, they are used by ranchers, but, other race them on the freeway pulling at the back of the hapless Kia drivers which seems to say:"Fear This."

A Mitsubishi concept car

SAN DIEGO CAR SHOW

Last Saturday Gino and I went to see the car show at the Convention Center near the famous Coronado Bridge in the downtown district, across the Padres Baseball team park called the Petco Park. Flecther also lives there, something like 3 miles from here. Needless to say we enjoyed ourselves, me, being a car nut way back and Gino, now that he's taking the driving test so he can have a car to drive, finally. The only letdown is: we didn't find the Range Rover display and that's the truck he wants, second to the Toyota Tacoma truck. Here are the samples of the cars and enjoy.

THAT WAS A REALLY ENJOYABLE CHRISTMAS

After the gift-giving it was time for family pictures. And after that was another round food and drink at dinner. And when after all have eaten, it was time to clean in our spa-inspired bathroom sink which was Nette's idea. Soon, it was time for them to go and for us to clean the mess for next day's back to work. But, we will all get t ogether again this New Year's Day at Astrid's house. Gino can sigh now for it will not be held at our house, so, he doesn't have to help in the preparation. He always:"Next time not in our house anymore!" He's just being himself, but Nette's just being herself also. So, guess who wins? Good intentions, right? See you at NYE.

Everybody got a gift from everybody which was not planned, not so much as a Kris Kringle, but it has always been like this with our family here. I got 3 Ralph Polo shirts and Lanvin cologne from Flecther, 3 pairs of Polo crew shirts from Mommy, a Conair Massage sleepers from Nette and a $25 Best Buy gift card from Gino. Nette got a Eco-Drive watch from me, a Gucci watch from Mommy and embroidered table mantle from the Aguiluz and assorted teas and snack from Fletcher. We gave Gino 3-DVD Die Hard movies, Guess watch from Mommy and a check from Flecther to add for him to buy the expensive Playstation he's been saving to buy.

THE GIFT-GIVNG BEGINS